GenCon Contest Week Three: What Will Go Wrong?
Posted by Keith Baker in UncategorizedJul 19th, 2010 | 13 responsesIn case you’re new here, this is a contest for a seat in an Eberron game I’m running at GenCon this year. Time has now been confirms as 11:00 AM on Sunday, August 8th. If you can’t make this, you can still enter for fun, but make sure to tell me that you aren’t in the running for the seat!
As we all know, when adventurers get on an airship, it is invariably doomed. It’s like Doctor Who – when adventurers show up, you know something bad is going to happen. So you and your friends have just climbed aboard an airship, planning a relaxing trip to Stormreach. Our question this week is simple:
WHAT WILL GO WRONG ON YOUR AIRSHIP FLIGHT?
13 Responses to “GenCon Contest Week Three: What Will Go Wrong?”
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About Me
Fire elemental bound to the ship’s Elemental Ring develops an infatuation with the party’s infernal pact warlock, wants to “play”. Hijinks Ensue(tm).
[not in the running for a seat]
You have an uneventful evening until you hit the club for a stand-up comic. He starts his set by saying “A Zil Gnome, a Shifter, and a Warforged walk into a bar…”
Airship travel is very much like ordinary real-world travel via airplane. In reverse. When you travel on an airship on Eberron you should *expect* pirates, crashes, Zil merchants falling ill, hijacking, Brelish treachery, treason, dragons, wyverns, life-threatening diseases, inadvertent trips to Lamannia, lightning blasts, mid-air collisions, elemental fury, Orien sabotage, smugglers, war trauma, monsters, anti-gravity attacks, murder, theft, diplomatic snafus, lost luggage and general flight anxiety. So as DM, I’d say an airship flight that goes wrong is when nothing happens.
You crash into the TARDIS, of course. Or rather, it crashes into you. You think the Doctor’s got it all figured out in the end, but then you realise after he leaves that wait a minute, you’ve never even *heard* of this Waterdeep place before. And who in blazes is Mystra?
Keith, I’ll have to mail you mine. It went a bit long.
This has the bonus of (more or less) actually taking place in my tabletop 3.5 game, aboard the “Calliope,” pride of House Lyrandar….
The party Druid, a Warden of the Wood, was also a militant defender of elemental rights. “They are intelligent beings, bound into slavery by Gnomes and Canniths with no regard for their wishes.” This in front of a Gnome and a (secret) House Cannith scion…but I digress.
Anyway, when the inevitable attack by an unholy alliance of Swords of Liberty terrorists and House Tarkanan abberrants happened, damaging two of the spars holding the elemental in place, the Warden was thrilled when it broke free…
…And EVERYONE was thrilled when she convinced it (via a desperate Wild Empathy roll and a “crash course” in Ignan) to return to Fernia rather than incinerate everyone and everything.
The battle ended when, with a very unpleasin’ sneezin’ and wheezin’, the “Calliope” crashed to the ground….
Unknown to the crew and passengers an Ashbound druid released a swarm of Soarwood-eating ants under the airship’s hull.
The ants work slowly borrowing through the ship’s wood multiplying in numbers.
Just one day away from Stormreach, the pilot notices that he can not maintain the airship altitude and that the airship is slowly descending into the Thunder Sea.
The swarm is finally revealed after a crew member that was busy cleaning the lower ship’s hold fell to his death when a piece of the keel detach from the airship.
Realizing that at this rate the airship will never reach Stormreach, the crew contemplates using the Life Ring feather fall down and take there chances in the water, but they quickly changed their minds once they realize that the rifts below are controlled by human-sacrificing Sahuagins.
Finally the captain comes up with a plan: there is a small semi-dormant volcanic island coming up on the starboard side, the island is spewing black ash, they will turn the airship to pass directly in the ash cloud hopefully it will kill enough of the swarm and buy them the time to reach the Stormreach…
I’ll admit right out that I’ve never had a party board an airship (as a player or DM), so that puts me in a bit of a bind to start.
That said, I’m going to approach this as fiction.
“Ya see, me and my boys, we were going to Stormreach for some nice R and R following our last big haul out of that Dakaani ruin I was telling ya about last month.
“What’s that? Oh. Yeah. We scored big down there. Made off with some nice weaponary, a musty tome, and a few coins. Not bad for a weeks trip.
“Anyways, there we were in Korranberg after turning over the tome to the University with a new stack of Galifars just burning a hole in our pocket. Tribe, our ‘forged warden, suggested we take the airship to Stormreach since it’d be faster. Hell, I’d never been on one before, and I figured I might never get ‘nother chance, so I talked the rest of the crew in.
“We made it onto the ship no problem. Heh. But, damned if that wasn’t when our troubles really began.
“First, our rooms we’re freaking small. Poor Tribe, he couldn’t even fit in his bed. He tried not making a big deal about it, but those tickets are expensive and I made a bit of a stink about it. Those Lythander boys, well, let’s just say they weren’t to pleased with me.
“Tribe got his bed, but I got to sleep out in the rain for my troubles. Heh.
“Anyways, me and the boys were discussing our trip with some of the passengers, and we just plumb missed the fact there was a Dirge Singer on board. She didn’t take kindly to the fact we were “raping her heritage” or some bull like that. Voices were raised, I said some things I probably shouldn’t've and next thing I know the hussy done punched me in my face. She’s a freaking Dirge Singer, so it hurt more than my pride, you know? Freaking Gobbos.
“Anyways, I go down since I wasn’t ready for it, and my boys all jump up. We got weapons pulled on two sides, plus the crew comes drawing Eternal wands on everyone. Damn near having an international incident seems to make those Lythander lads testy.
“Thankfully, I can occasionally talk my way out of trouble (it is why my boys keep me around all these years), so I drop a few names, promise we’ll behave, and slip a couple hundred into the crews hands just to make sure we’re cool, all the while shooting the Dirge Singer a dirty look. I mean, she started it, right?
“‘Sides, what’s those Gobbos gonna do to me anyways? Not like they’re a real nation. I figure she’ll forget ’bout it before we even make it back to the mainland.
“Yeah, most of the rest of the trip went by pretty quickly. We love throwing down in Stormreach, them cats really know how to throw a party.
“What’s that? What’re we doin’ now? I figure me and the boys will hit up another ruin once we get back to the mainland and speak with our gnome contact.
“Well, funny thing is my luck seems to turned ever since I sat foot down in ‘Reach. Lost damn near six thousand Galifar sitting at the card tables. Weirdest dang thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, I didn’t even win one single hand.
“Oh well. Tribe tells me the spirits have forsaken me, but I figure I was just due a bit of bad luck. Everyone gets unlucky at some point, right?”
If something’s going to go wrong, then everything is going to go wrong. Immediately after taking off from the yard in Stormhome, some adventurer or villain temporarily disrupts the magic that keeps Stormhome’s climate temperate, leading tempestuous winds to flip over the airship and drop the back-up navigator to the ground below.
On the second day, another airship (which is much larger and more heavily armed) begins to fire upon the airship. This is when we learn that House Lyrandar is undergoing a civil war to rival that of Houses Phiarlan and Thuranni, with one side of the family becoming de facto rulers of the Valenar “homeland” as the Valenar have mostly destroyed themselves fighting against the hobgoblins of Darguun. What does it mean to us? Nearly crash-landing in southern Aundair, frantically searching for the components needed to fix the airship, and a revision of the flight plans which took us through Valenar.
The new flight plans take us through Sharn, which exists in a perpetual state of flux with regards to its manifest zone. Once again, an adventurer or villain has disrupted the connection, and the airship nearly crashes again, with the greater problem being that the Lyrandar captain was killed by a spar of livewood (which also prevents him from being called back, but which allows him to be put into a golem body at some point in the future). To replace him, we find a Zil gnome (who knows how to fly an airship better than any half-elf anyway), who will later turn out to be a changeling child who is very good at pretending to be something she’s not. Even so, that’s enough to get us over the water and away from Khorvaire, where the Last War looks ready to become the Current War.
It’s when we meet the drow riding wyverns out of Xen’drik, saying that we have entered the Most Puissant Empire of Giantdom (reformed), that we think maybe we should have just stayed home…
My new wife and I boarded the Stormless Sunset on Nynmm 12th. After the events of the last few weeks, the extra money for 1st class airship transportation is worth some peace and quiet. I left my companions behind for this trip to Stormguard. We are making the trip to introduce my wife to my surviving family of my mother, older sister and younger brother.
As we relaxed in our cabin, Elyse mentioned how rude and incompetent the porter. I agreed and said that he must be new.
“I hope you didn’t tip him very much,” she said.
“Very little,” I replied.
“You know, you didn’t have to do this.”
“Tip the porter?”
“No you idiot. You didn’t have to marry me”
“Actually, yes I did. I don’t know where that screwball cult came from but when they were going to marry you to that thing, the only thing I could think of was to grab the marriage cup and drink before the priest did. Of course, if Gredic and Sanalk had showed up five minutes earlier…”
“Who is it,” I called. “Room service, compliments of the captain,” I made a mistake, I opened the door. I was greeted by a smiling Gredic and Sanalk. I groaned, then cried out, “What in all twelve moons are you two doing here?”
“We got a job.”
“What on? The airship?”
“Nope. In Stormguard… By the way, when I said we have a job, I meant WE have a job.”
“Does it start now?”
“Nope.”
“Then get lost. I don’t want to see either of you until we get there.”
“No problem, we didn’t expect to see you at all this trip. Nudge, nudge.”
Later
“I hate to fly,” I heard her complain.
“Airship travel is very safe and it’s been quiet,” I replied.
“And yet we have the Trouble Twins on board with us.”
“Maybe nothing will happen.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Nope.”
“Me either.”
Dinner was surprising quiet. The food was bland and the service was substandard. There was only one other person in the dinning cabin, an older gentleman sitting in the corner with that look that said wizard. I tried to talk to him but he ignored me. Two groups came in a little later. A business group of dwarves going to Stromguard for some complicated business involving precious metal trading. The second group was eating in shifts. They were all dressed alike and very quiet. They seemed like a religious group. Since the last time we had to deal with a cult went bad, we decided to end dinner.
That night after dinner in our cabin.
“I never did ask you, how did you end up almost married to an outer horror anyway?” I asked.
“They bought me.” She responded
“What?”
“I’m an actress. They wanted me to perform some theater. How was I to know this was going to be real?”
“The blood and knives weren’t a give away? Or the cave in the middle of nowhere? Or the lack of an audience?”
“You know, I was going to perform my wifely duties tonight but you blew it. Stay on your side of the bed tonight.”
I woke in the middle of the night and decided to take a walk on deck. On the way up, I noticed a steward entering one of the cabins that was being used by the cult guys. I figured a bit of midnight larceny. I cut my walk short, went back to my room and set a few traps for any thieves.
The next morning was beautiful, clear and sunny. At lunch, I mentioned to the cult leader about the steward. He asked me to point the steward out but the steward wasn’t around. Once again the meal was substandard. I asked to see an officer but was refused. They promised me that dinner would be different.
Dinner turned out to be a huge buffet. I was surprised by the number of items. It looked like they had emptied the stores to put this on. They put it on deck because it would not have fit in the dining room.
We all queued up. A fat dwarf insisted on being first. He went up and came back with two huge plates full. The crew looked nervous. I guess they didn’t want to get too close and lose some fingers.
I heard behind me “That’s his horny and frustrated look. He must have said something stupid and didn’t get any.” Sure enough, the trouble twins were chatting with a cult member who looked confused and a bit scared. I yelled out, “ I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you around.” “Hey, We gotta eat”
At that point, we got to the front of the line. I was just starting to fill my plate when the cult leader jumped up, threw his plate to the deck and yelled “The food is poisoned.” The fat dwarf leapt to his feet, clutched his throat, turned blue and collapsed.
Weapons appeared from everywere. I shoved Elise into Gredic’s arms. “Get her out of here”, I commanded. “What are you going to do”, she asked. “Something stupid”, I replied. “Oh, good luck with that”, she replied.
I grabbed a chair and waded in. I was looking for the purser so I could beat some answers from him. I just about to reach him through this three way battle when I saw a cult member about to stab his leader in the back. I threw my chair and hit the backstabber in the face. The leader spun around and put a dagger in his attacker’s chest. By this time, the rest of the crew fled below decks followed by staggering, sick dwarves.
The cult leader and I looked down at the backstabbers body as it started to melt into another form. “Doppelgangers”, we said together.
“That explains a lot. So who are you exactly?, I asked.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”, he answered.
“Oh, Brotherhood of the Blade, right?”
“How did you guess that?”
“I’ve met others of your sect. You all say the same thing. Do you have a name I can call you?”
“Karl”
“Well, Karl shall we go see what is going on below decks.”
“Sure, you first?”
“Nope”
We went to the captain’s cabin. We found a bunch of very sick dwarves pounding weakly on the door. One dwarf looked at us, then fell over. Karl went to pick the lock. After thirty seconds, he looked at me. “It’s not locked. It just won’t open.” “Stand back”, I said. I cast an opening spell and the door opened to reveal 5 dopps and the captain tied to a chair.
“You can kill us…”, one of the dopps started as a warhammer hit him in the face. “Sounds fine to us”, said one of the dwarves. “Everyone stop”, I shouted, “Just tell me what is going on and whether or not I need to care.”
“We were hired to deliver this ship to a certain location. After our client gets the critical cargo onboard, we’ll release the ship.”
“What critical cargo”, the captain exclaimed, “We’re carrying grain for the next planting”
“What about the artifact?”
“What artifact?”
“The artifact of power”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“I guess you get released then but tortured to death to find where it is hidden.”
“Great, what can go wrong now”, I murmured.
“Sir, we are here”, the dopple by the window said.
The leader knocked the captain out and we felt the ship beginning to descend.
“Now can we kill them”, the dwarves asked. “Sure, and try to wake the captain up too”, I replied, “Karl get your people together and meet me on deck” We left to the sound of dwarves beating on the dopps.
I met Karl on deck and we looked over the side. There were six man-beasts waiting for the ship. “Rakshasas”, we said together again. “Great, I’m surprised elephants aren’t falling out of the sky right now”, I mentioned. Karl looked horrified, made some sort complicated hand gesture, and said “Don’t say things like that”
As Karl got his people ready, I shot a fireball down in the middle of the enemy. I didn’t think for a minute that I’d take them out but I was hoping to blind them a bit. Just before the ship landed, I heard a familiar war cry and Gredic and Sanalk jumped over the side with glowing swords. Between those two and Karl’s people, the battle was surprisingly quickly over.
“And where did you get those”, I asked pointing at the swords.
“We told you we got a job, now all we have to do is collect the bounties”
“And you were going to tell me when?”
“At the beginning, but you didn’t want to hear it.”
“Fine, let’s get the captain revived and get out of here.”
“I’m guessing it would be stupid to think someone knows anything about airships”
Karl looked up, “Yes, very stupid”
Two days later we limped the ship into Stormguard. If I had known this was the easy part, I would have never left.
Me – Swashbuckler/Wizard
Karl and crew are not real Brotherhood of the Blade. They were duped into thinking they were getting assassin training. The teacher sent them on a pilgrimage and left with the money.
The wizard is a magic item that puts up an illusion so you don’t feel alone.
Uh oh! Look who just got on board.
Those guys again?! They’re always jumping our contracts.
I told them if they do it again, we’d make them regret it. Also, I stole their coin purses.
Guess there’s no point in trying to be diplomatic.
Oh boy! A chance to test out my new spell!
Val, what did you just do?
I call it Valahria’s Sphere of Suppression!
Uh, Val… they still look really pissed.
I know! But now all nearby magic is being nullified! Including their enchanted weapons!
That’s great Val, but does that include bound elementals?
I don’t know much about Zil binding magic, but I guess so.
ABANDON SHIP!!
@ John Lach…wow.
Some of these are good, but some waaayyy too long. Brevity is the soul of wit a writer once said…