Question of the Week 11/27/02:

With the holidays upon us, we want to know:

WHAT IS THE BEST USE FOR LEFTOVER TURKEY?

Just remember - Jabba has no time for smugglers who jettison their turkey at the first sign of trouble.

Well, first you gotta get him out of the White House...

In the next episode of CSI, they're going to find out exactly how it died.

I'll tell you in my new book, TRYPTOPHANICON

Well, that depends - is it berry-blasted Blue Turkey™, or crisp, refreshing Vanilla Turkey™? Or the new Dr. Pepper spin off, Turkey Fusion™?

Microwaved from a safe distance.  You know, "Nuke it from orbit.  It's the only way to be sure."

On the urging of his children, George Lucas is going to have R2-D2 magically produce leftover turkey in the next Star Wars movie.

As a pet shop proprietor, I like to point out that the turkey's not dead, it's just pining for the fjords.

How many times has this happened to you?
You have leftover turkey and you want a Milkshake.
Well, now you can have it.
Introducing the Ronco Gobblermatic!
"Mmmm, that's a good Tryptophan Milkshake! "

I've got enough turkey to feed half a dozen armies. Provided, of course, that they are armies of one.

Ummmm, I always went for soup and sandwiches, but I guess I'm sort of
dull that way.

This is just to say
That I have eaten the leftover turkey
Which I think you'd long forgotten
Since it was way in the back of the fridge.
You didn't miss much: it was good,
But a little slimy for your taste.

Turkey Chip Cookies

Throw it on Ben Franklin's grave.  Of course, I'm a bald eagle.

So much depends
upon a red sauce of cranberries
crowding mashed potatoes
beside the white meat.

I think we should make the remains of the turkey our national bird.  Of course, I'm the remains of Benjamin Franklin.

As a site for air bases when we bomb Leftover Iraq!

I know what the local Kurds would say...

Well, I think the rest of Turkey would prefer to annex it.

Whaddya mean, leftover?  I'm trippin' the tryptophan-tastic, man...  ...dude.

Play a little game I like to call, "Huck It at the Homeless!"

Man, if leftover turkey can't save the Family Circus, nuthin' can.

A turkey carcass makes a fine hat.

I don't know.  Let's ask the Greeks.

Leftovers.  Who has leftovers when you make the yummy, yummy Turducken.   (http://www.gumbopages.com/food/poultry/turducken.html)

I like to reconstruct the flesh and bones into a new bird, harness a lightning bolt, and run four million volts through it until it WALKS AGAIN IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING!!   AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  ...Of course, I'm Doctor Frankenstein.

Trophemancy -- it's divination by food!

Some sort of fermented malt turkey beverage, perhaps?

Spackling compound

Feeding the hell beast in the basement

Christmas Ornaments

Biological weapons research

Fruit Cake additive

Lickable wallpaper

Change name of biggest city back to Constantinople. I just like it better that way!

Maybe the Broncos can use it as a secret weapon for their defense - 'cause they sure don't have anything else that's working.

Take it to a holiday movie.  Bring bread and other sandwich stuff.  Ask Jeff how this works.

Kurdistan!

* And finally…*

There are no leftovers.  I've ingested so much gravy, it has saturated my blood and expanded my mind.  The gravy is the bird; the bird is the gravy. The sleeper has awakened... just long enough to unbutton his pants and roll over in his La-Z-Boy.

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